I have been really thinking about what I set out for this blog to be and what I have done with it thus far.
I have been so proud of this blog in so many different ways. There have been a number of posts that were just a small idea that I created into something I was so proud of. For instance, my post 25 Women Tell Me What They Wished They Knew at 25. That post took months and months of gathering advice from 25 different women and trying to put it cohesively into one post that I thought other young women and girls could learn from. It felt so valuable to me and I often times go back and read it when I am needing a feel-good moment. Whenever I post recipes for you guys to try it is a recipe that I have tried and tried a million times to be sure that it would be something I would be proud to hear you made.
Because I take so much time and thought and effort into each post, I often find myself stuck sometimes. I want this blog to be somewhere 20-something women can go and realize they are not the only ones thinking what they are, where moms can come and grab a recipe that’s healthy for their family, or someone can go and just realize they are not the only hot mess express in town. When I get stuck trying to come up with something that is SO inspiring or SO different and unique and come up empty, I then feel bad that I am not posting more and get into this crazy, annoying cycle of feeling inspired and then uninspired.
I thought that instead of trying to put out the “most perfect” (perfection isn’t real, but I like to think it is) blog post I will start putting out a small post every Friday. Consisting of something inspiring that happened that week, an example of my hot mess life, or just something that I think everyone could benefit from hearing. I am going to be calling this weekly post “Friendly Reminder Friday” and I am actually really excited about this segment! I will still continue with the long formatted blog posts and the posts that are more like projects, but I think this will get to the sole reason I started this blog: to help 20-something women feel like they aren’t the only ones.
I felt that there were enough blogs out there that showed the perfect house décor, perfectly pictured recipe, perfect life, and not enough that just showed life real and raw. That’s why I started Unapologetically Emily and I want to make sure that that is always the purpose behind every post.
As my first quarter of a century has come and gone, I figured it was the most opportune time to have others reflect on their own.
I am certain that most people have heard of the terrible twos, right? When a toddler is struggling with testing their new found independence and they don’t quite have the verbiage to express what they need… often resulting in temper tantrums. The “terrible twenties” are kind of like that. You’re exploring how you fit in the world and it can be completely frustrating because there’s forks in the road everywhere. Initially, I wanted to create a post that could act as a road map for twenty-somethings who are struggling to feel like they have a grip on anything. All of us started on the relatively same path- going through elementary school, high school, college or work- and now we are all drifting into our own lanes and comparison is everywhere. Some of my friends have three kids while some aren’t planning to have any. Some live in my hometown while others have moved across the globe. I am here to tell you that every scenario is perfectly where you need to be. Growing pains are inevitable, but I thought it may be helpful for some of us twenty-something women out there to hear from other women who made it out the other side of 25. All of these women I have looked up to, have shaped me into who I am, are people I want to emulate, or I know have a story to share. Here’s 25 women’s responses to the question “If you could go back and give your 25 year-old self one piece of advice… what would it be?”
“If I could tell my 25 year old self anything I think it would be to trust yourself above everyone and everything else. If something doesn’t feel right for you, then it isn’t. Honor yourself by listening to your own voice first and last.” Heather Nielsen
“At 25, I wish I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself for many reasons, but especially for life not going exactly as I planned. At 25, I thought I would be married, a homeowner, and I definitely thought my incredible father would still be with us, but life doesn’t ever seem to go as planned; I know that now. It’s important to realize that many of the things that happen to us, we have zero control over, and it’s okay.” Barbara Alvarez
“Looking back I don’t think I could or would change anything. If I didn’t take the path I took I wouldn’t be where I am today, which is a good place in my life to be. At the time I would wish it was easier, but have learned that life often throws up road blocks. Keep the end goal in mind– patience and lots of hard work eventually pays off.” Grandma
“What I would tell my 25 year old self? Good question. The first thing that came to mind was- don’t settle. Don’t settle covers many areas… don’t settle for a job or career you don’t want or like. Don’t settle for a man or woman just because there is no one else. Don’t settle for anything less than your hopes and dreams. There is a lot of time in your life to NOT SETTLE.” Kim Keefe
“I came up with a bunch of advice I wish I had known when I was young, but these are a couple that are high on my list. Start saving for your retirement now. Don’t take your parents for granted. Talk to them and ask them questions about their youth.” Aunt Jill
“Something I wish I believed when I was 25 was to embrace and accept every opportunity! These moments and opportunities only come around once in a lifetime; it’s important to live in the moment, take on the opportunities, and enjoy these adventures with the people closest around you. You’ll never get to rewind these days and embrace those opportunities you chose to dismiss but you’ll always have another day to strive to be the person you want to become.” Bree Bjorklund
“I have been thinking about your question on what I wish I knew at 25. I wish I had known that 50 would come so much faster than 25 did. You don’t really think at 25 that you will be 50 in a blink of an eye. Life really starts moving at 25. By then you have somewhat of a career, boyfriend or maybe even husband. Then children come into the picture and you start raising a family, buy a house and a mini van. Next thing you look and your kids are graduating high school and leaving for college themselves. You ask yourself where did the time go. I wouldn’t trade any of that time from 25 to 50. But just know at 25 take some time to smell that rose, save that extra penny, go on vacations, spend time with the people you love and don’t stress the next 25. We can’t predict our journey at 25, but we can try to make it the best that we can.” Wendy Shahrikian
“It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to feel guilty or feel like you must please everyone by saying yes. Teach yourself that saying no sometimes means you are saying yes to other priorities in your life.” Mariah McMullen
“Can I express TIME is big. And learn to make yourself a priority, too or you will never do it or it won’t last long in your scheduling. And move your body every day. Take a half hour and just do it. If you start young you will start a habit for life. Your metabolism just slows down as you age so fire it up now so you will feel better and have energy for life.” Christy West
“I think I wish I would have known that you don’t need to be in a big hurry to “mature” your life… ie marriage, babies, super successful. I think you should use that time to truly discover yourself, know that you can be independent and self-sufficient. Take chances and travel you can always come home!” Aunt Annette
“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you’re starting out in your first career with your first apartment/ house and possibly even your first child, there will be times when you are financially uncomfortable. There will be bills you haven’t had before, and life will throw curve balls and all of a sudden you’re sitting at a car dealership buying a car for the first time or you’ll be standing in a Walgreens aisle contemplating whether to cheap out on wipes or diapers that month. Accept it. Create a budget and see it through. If it means you are penny pinching just to save $50 at the end of each month, that’s perfectly fine. It won’t feel “comfortable” but hard work pays off. Don’t be too good to cut coupons, shop only the sales, skip eating out, find a second hand store, or opt to workout at home instead of paying for a gym. These times won’t last forever, but they will determine a lot about your future. Also, if you can communicate and tackle the uncomfortable with your significant other, that means more than flowers and chocolate.” Alexa Chiefari
“What I would tell my 25 year old self knowing what I know now… this is some sage advice so pay attention. Firstly, live in the moment. Don’t allow the stresses of your everyday life weigh you down. Second, be honest with yourself and those around you even if the truth hurts… the world is full of liars and deceivers don’t be one of them. Third, be happy with being alone. Take yourself to a movie or out to dinner it’s important to get to know yourself before settling down. Lastly and most important, pay your bills… that shit will follow you if you don’t.” Elizabeth Nickerson
“What I know now that I wish I knew at 25… a few wishes first. Wish I had the patience I have now. Wish I spent more one on one time with each child. Wish I went back to college. Wish I had saved for retirement. Wish Daddy & Mommy had taken more alone time. I could go on and on… and I guess that’s my point! There are so many things I wish I knew then or done differently, BUT all the living I’ve done between 25 and 77 has made me who I am today, and mostly I love the me I have become! Not always, but mostly… If there is one thing though, it would be, pay attention to life! Within your family and within your community! GET INVOLVED AND STAY INVOLVED IN BOTH! This was a difficult question for me but I thought on it for a week, and this to me is the most valuable advice I would give to 25 year old me! Having learned that if we want a better life or world for our children we have to make the changes at home first, then expand getting your whole family involved!” Granny
“Yes I wish I knew a lot when I was 25 that I know 29 years later. I would have gone back to college and finished. I wish I put others before me. I wish my looks didn’t mean everything. I’d like to have married and waited for the right person. I wish I wasn’t so obsessed with my weight. I wish I knew how to love myself.” Aunt Patti
“I would say worry less about the house being clean and everything being done– and what I thought was important. Just enjoy the moments. Time does go fast!!” Molly Noble
“There is a whole world out there that you don’t know about. You can drastically change your life at any moment. Travel, learn, grow.” Amber Bottensek
“Not to care SO MUCH about what others thought of me. Looking back I really limited myself from being true to the real me because I was so scared of what others would think. It was after becoming a mom that I finally felt comfortable with myself. I’m not sure if it was the hormone change or just constantly being in mom-mode that distracted me from thinking about others thoughts. Whatever it was I’m grateful. I’ve finally realized that you’re not going to be someone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.” Brittany Schweitzer
“I’d probably tell myself… Relax! There’s still plenty of time! I think most people think that they should have it all figured out by 25 and have their shit together. I feel like 25 was just the start of getting it all “right” ya know?! There isn’t a certain timeline you have to follow. Things will come and happen when they’re supposed to. I’m 31 and I’m just figuring out who I am, what I love, what I’m passionate about… and it’s completely different from when I was 25.” Jaimie Baker
“Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes, but make sure you learn from them and find the value in the lesson. Truly learn to love and accept yourself for who you are and don’t focus so much on what people think. Lastly, learn to set healthy boundaries.” Lynette Erickson
“Just start. Time flies, so start today. Start reading or writing the novel, start contributing to the 401k. Start learning to play the piano or cook the perfect lasagna. Just start, because you will blink and realize a lifetime has passed. Oh, and floss, like every day. Do not neglect your gums.” Jackie Powers
“Quit waiting for someone to give you permission, validation, or an invitation to use your gifts, create your best life and shine.” Megan Valentine
“I had lost my dad by then… was married… and then the rest of my family moved away. All I can say is spend time with the people you love and care about. SAVE MONEY. Be good to yourself. Just be the best you.” Mom
“Iguess I would have to go with FAMILY! I say this, because thank god I followed through with it… but knowing this is going out to others… I think it’s the Best Advice I could offer. I would tell my 25 year old self to take all those things my deep Sicilian Family instilled in me… Loyalty, Commitment, Unconditional Love, Trust, Forgiveness, Values, Morals… And instill them into Any… Any Relationship you have because FAMILY… isn’t just about Blood! “Trust in those that trust in you!” “Look out for those who look out for you!” These are statements that were made over and over again on my grandparents back porch years and years ago… and something I am super grateful I listened to. No matter who you are… how much money you do or don’t make… what kind of family you come from… there will Always at some point in everyone’s life… be a moment when you need someone or a LOT of someone’s! I Promise, I was convinced for a lot of years I could conquer the world all on my own… and then BAMMMM…. I get hit in the face with something so devastating I’d lay in bed at night wondering what the hell am I going to do…. then… out of no where… all those people, the people I’ve loved, supported, helped, mentored or just spent time with… they just start showing up… some I’ve seen on a regular basis, some I haven’t seen or talked to in years… but here they all are… Showing Up! It’s hard work, super exhausting at times… lots of Great Times and definitely mixed in with some bad… but through it all… I’ve always made sure that every person in my life that has stayed is because I Trusted Them and They Trusted Me… and no matter what… I Always had Their Back because I knew they would Always Have Mine!!! It makes no difference what God they worship (or don’t) who they love or what color their skin is… you bring people into “Your Family” because no matter how off the deep end you may go at times… they are always there to throw the rope and reel you back in… because you have or would do the same for them! I would also slap myself upside the head and tell me to quit spending money on everyone else… Save IT! Cause there is life after your 40’s and if you work hard… you deserve to have some time to enjoy it without the worry of money! When you’re a kid… you spend money on crazy stuff… cause you’re a kid and it’s the coolest!!! I promise… when you get into your 40’s and beyond… that’s when the “cool stuff” really starts happening!!!” Terri Agate
“I think the biggest thing I’d say is to remember to take care of yourself. It’s too easy to put work, boyfriends/ husbands, and kids ahead of yourself. But having some time for you is so important. I wish I’d started doing it sooner.” Ariel Atkins
“I would say at 25 I had a lack of confidence in myself and worried too much about what people thought of me. If I could give myself advice it would be to stand tall and be the strong person you know you are!” Sherri Rader
As long as you are trying your best, everything will eventually fall into place. Or they won’t. Ha. There are so many uncontrollable variables in your 20’s that you just can’t plan everything. I went through a lot of growing pains throughout my teens into my early twenties, but honestly nothing compares to the pains of your mid twenties. (I hear your thirties are kick ass, though, so that’s something to look forward to.) The number one thing you can control is your attitude and doing your best every day. Wake up, do what needs to be done in order to get you where you want to be, take care of yourself, and enjoy yourself. It all goes way too fast! Be gentle with yourself… nobody is getting it all right 100% of the time.
Don’t play the comparison game with everyone’s curated version. I love social media: you get to keep in contact with family and friends that you don’t get to see as often as you would like and it’s a constant stream of entertainment lol. HOWEVER, it is hard to keep yourself feeling positive about your life and your struggles when Sally from high school shares all about her promotion and engagement. You are living your behind the scenes while watching everyone else’s highlights… and it is frustrating! Stay in your lane and know that you are more than likely not the only twenty-something driving the struggle bus.
Not everything is worth your energy. This comes with age for sure. I used to NEVER be able to say no to anything, but now if it’s something I don’t want to do.. I don’t do it. It’s that simple. Not everything & everyone are worth your energy. You learn what is most important to you and make time for those people and things.
Take care of yourself. This is important. I spent a couple years in my early twenties drinking everything, eating whatever I wanted, not taking my vitamins… basically treating my body like a trash can not a temple. Now I am trying to reverse the bad habits I created in my early twenties. My advice: just always take care of yourself. Not only should you be taking care of yourself physically, but also mentally. Know when to take a personal day and do what your body is telling you it needs. For me, that’s a day filled with bubble baths, beer, face masks, and shopping. HA. Find out what is going to get your mind right & know when it’s needed.
YOU GOT THIS. I know it feels like the sky is going to fall on your head at any moment. Seriously- I KNOW. But, many have come before us and many will come after and they survived… for the most part. Be your own cheerleader and take one day at a time! You can and will succeed 🙂
Just remember we are all trying to do our best! Adulting doesn’t come with a handbook- and like I’ve said before- someone should create one! (Maybe that’ll be an upcoming project- HA. I don’t know if my advice for adulting should be publicized.) I need to tell myself all of these things more than once a day so I figured someone else could benefit from these reminders.
I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately and felt obliged to share my thoughts with all of you. I’m sure you have often heard the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy,” which is completely true; however, it can steal so much more from you than joy. I know we are all guilty of comparing ourselves to our neighbor, co-worker, friend, family member, high school acquaintance, etc. Comparison is everywhere. I am not here to tell you that it is going to go away, who am I to judge? The moment you start celebrating others’ victories instead of using them as a measurement for your own life events, you can concentrate on making yourself the best version of you. Look, it took me 6 years to graduate undergrad.. SIX YEARS. People who entered college after me were graduating before me and it was tough to not notice how everyone else was progressing around me.This way of thinking just takes away from my accomplishment. As much of an “expectation” graduating a four-year school is still only 37% people are doing it. I just recently started working out again after two years of not having a consistent gym routine. Getting back to the gym was TOUGH. So many people who knew exactly what they were doing and had a consistent routine that they were diligently following and I felt so lost. Instagram fitness models don’t help the equation either. Wow, that’s a lot of bodies to being comparing myself to… on the DAILY which is completely unfair to my own accomplishments I have made while on my own fitness journey. This year I started my first big girl job and was feeling pretty at ease with how it was going. One of my co-workers, only a few months older than me, has been with the company longer than me and got a much deserved promotion, but I can’t help but think about how if I had gotten on my path earlier maybe I would have been in that position. Then I remember that I have worked really really hard to be where I am and I have only been in this position for less than a year!
Honestly, the amount of times I compare myself to others in a day is absurd and it hurts my heart because we’ve all been taught along the way that by X age we need to have this and by X age we need to be there… IT’S A LIE. We all need to be kinder to ourselves because the way we talk to ourselves is the way we will allow others to think of us. You set the tone and if the tone inside your head is constantly telling you you aren’t good enough, you will not amount to your potential.
I’ve been learning to start every day immediately thinking of the traits that make me who I am. The things I don’t like, I am learning to allow myself a little grace. I think we all need to remind ourselves that we are all just trying the best we can. As long as we are doing that and only comparing ourselves to who we were yesterday- we are on the right path. I’m sure someone else needed to hear this as much as I needed to write it.
Be gentle with yourself. You are doing your best. No comparison needed. XO
Okay, this definitely wasn’t a post I thought I would be putting on my blog. I assumed everyone who would be taking the time to visit my blog would be friends, family, and people who knew me, however; I am excited that that’s not the case. Every day I have people who are viewing my blog from all over the world- China, the UK, Russia, Costa Rica, etc. For those of you who already know me, this may not be very exciting & even for those of you who don’t know me… this might not be exciting. HA! But, for whatever reason, I feel obligated to introduce myself to those of you who don’t know me and somehow (thankfully) stumbled upon this blog 🙂
I was a D-1 Collegiate Cheerleader. Some of my best life experiences happened because of being an NIU cheerleader. I remember the day I randomly decided “Hey I am going to cheer in college!” and putting that plan to action. I worked out 6 days a week prior to tryouts (including days with a family friend who was a wrestling coach & kicked my ass). I was on ESPN a few times, got to take multiple trips to Florida, compete in NCA Nationals, meet sooo many amazing people, cheer on Ford Field (home of the Detroit Lions), and be involved with the University & community. If I hadn’t had that experience I am certain I would not be the same person.
I can not give blood without fainting, vomiting, or becoming dizzy. Seriously. I honestly wish I could because I have the universal blood type, but I. just. can’t. I had a seriously terrible experience when I was 15 where I completely passed out and vomited and have not been okay to give blood ever since. I always warn the nurses beforehand and everyone thinks I am over exaggerating… I am not & they learn that quickly when my face become sheet white. Sorry!
Beer is my favorite alcoholic beverage. I know, I know girls will typically ask for a vodka soda, wine, margarita or really anything else as long as it is not beer. Not me. And I do not discriminate- I love me some craft beer, but I will never turn away my trusty Bud Light.
I am constantly twirling my hair. Alright, if you have ever seen me in person, you already knew this- even if it was only a 5 minute interaction. I don’t know how or when or why this started- I just know I’ve been doing it as long as I can remember. I know it’s unprofessional & frankly not very “adult”, but I don’t care. It is a habit that happens so involuntarily that I often don’t even recognize I’m doing it until someone makes a comment about it. Since I am a catering manager and around food A LOT, I usually wear my hair up so I am not even tempted. It just is what it is… I am trying, ok?
I once burned a hole in my throat from a pill. When I was 19 I was taking prescribed medication for acne. One night I took my medication as I always do and laid down to go to sleep, well the next morning I woke up to feeling like something was stuck in my throat. I kept making this comment to everyone all day and of course, everyone thought I was being dramatic. A few days later, I had woken up and thrown up blood. Mmmk… that is definitely not normal. I went to my doctor and he suggested I get an endoscopy to check out what was going on. What had happened was my pill had a soft coating that became sticky when it was wet. Well when I had laid down so quickly after taking my pill the pill literally got stuck in my throat!! It was so painful for a week- I could not eat anything because everything hurt- even with this coating medication they gave me. It was absolutely rough. Now I definitely stay upright for a bit while taking medication 🙂
I sleep with one pillow between my legs and one between my arms. (And of course one under my head). I have always, always, always slept like this. Ask my brother Brady, he remembers thinking I was such a weirdo, but now he does it. So am I really that weird? It’s seriously so hard for me to fall asleep if I don’t at least have an extra pillow for in between my legs. High maintenance? Maybe.
I am super self motivated. When I decide that I have a goal- I make a plan and figure out what I need in order to attain the goal. Period.
I’ve only gotten stitches once and have only broken one bone. I am extremely clumsy so the fact that I have only ever had stitches once & have broken one bone is amazing. Prime example of my clumsiness, I tripped over a bucket and that’s how I got my first and only set of stitches. The broken bone happened my sophomore year of high school at cheerleading practice. We were practicing our competition routine and I was flying (for one of the first times). When we were dismounting I stepped on my base’s foot and ended up breaking my own. What? Who does that?? Me. Clumsy me.
I have been changing my hair color on a regular basis since I was in the 6th grade. I got it from my mama. Her hair changed allll the time when I was younger and that’s obviously where I thought that changing your hair color with the seasons was normal. HA! I’ve had icy blonde hair, black, brown, ombre, and even auburn/red once in 8th grade. It’s hair- you can always change it and it’s fun to try new looks.
I cry when I am pissed, upset, frustrated, happy… crying is just my reaction to every emotion. Seriously. This is one of my characteristics I could do without. In moments when I want to be taken seriously & I am fuming with anger, I am crying. I hate it, but it’s just who I am and I have been dealing with that attribute of mine… begrudgingly. LOL
