25 Women Tell Me What They Wished They Knew at 25

I am certain that most people have heard of the terrible twos, right? When a toddler is struggling with testing their new found independence and they don’t quite have the verbiage to express what they need… often resulting in temper tantrums.
The “terrible twenties” are kind of like that. You’re exploring how you fit in the world and it can be completely frustrating because there’s forks in the road everywhere. Initially, I wanted to create a post that could act as a road map for twenty-somethings who are struggling to feel like they have a grip on anything. All of us started on the relatively same path- going through elementary school, high school, college or work- and now we are all drifting into our own lanes and comparison is everywhere. Some of my friends have three kids while some aren’t planning to have any. Some live in my hometown while others have moved across the globe. I am here to tell you that every scenario is perfectly where you need to be. Growing pains are inevitable, but I thought it may be helpful for some of us twenty-something women out there to hear from other women who made it out the other side of 25. All of these women I have looked up to, have shaped me into who I am, are people I want to emulate, or I know have a story to share. Here’s 25 women’s responses to the question “If you could go back and give your 25 year-old self one piece of advice… what would it be?”

“If I could tell my 25 year old self anything I think it would be to trust yourself above everyone and everything else. If something doesn’t feel right for you, then it isn’t. Honor yourself by listening to your own voice first and last.”
Heather Nielsen

“At 25, I wish I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself for many reasons, but especially for life not going exactly as I planned. At 25, I thought I would be married, a homeowner, and I definitely thought my incredible father would still be with us, but life doesn’t ever seem to go as planned; I know that now. It’s important to realize that many of the things that happen to us, we have zero control over, and it’s okay.”
Barbara Alvarez

“Looking back I don’t think I could or would change anything. If I didn’t take the path I took I wouldn’t be where I am today, which is a good place in my life to be. At the time I would wish it was easier, but have learned that life often throws up road blocks. Keep the end goal in mind– patience and lots of hard work eventually pays off.”
Grandma

“What I would tell my 25 year old self? Good question. The first thing that came to mind was- don’t settle. Don’t settle covers many areas… don’t settle for a job or career you don’t want or like. Don’t settle for a man or woman just because there is no one else. Don’t settle for anything less than your hopes and dreams. There is a lot of time in your life to NOT SETTLE.”
Kim Keefe

“I came up with a bunch of advice I wish I had known when I was young, but these are a couple that are high on my list. Start saving for your retirement now. Don’t take your parents for granted. Talk to them and ask them questions about their youth.”
Aunt Jill

“Something I wish I believed when I was 25 was to embrace and accept every opportunity! These moments and opportunities only come around once in a lifetime; it’s important to live in the moment, take on the opportunities, and enjoy these adventures with the people closest around you. You’ll never get to rewind these days and embrace those opportunities you chose to dismiss but you’ll always have another day to strive to be the person you want to become.”
Bree Bjorklund

“I have been thinking about your question on what I wish I knew at 25. I wish I had known that 50 would come so much faster than 25 did. You don’t really think at 25 that you will be 50 in a blink of an eye. Life really starts moving at 25. By then you have somewhat of a career, boyfriend or maybe even husband. Then children come into the picture and you start raising a family, buy a house and a mini van. Next thing you look and your kids are graduating high school and leaving for college themselves. You ask yourself where did the time go. I wouldn’t trade any of that time from 25 to 50. But just know at 25 take some time to smell that rose, save that extra penny, go on vacations, spend time with the people you love and don’t stress the next 25. We can’t predict our journey at 25, but we can try to make it the best that we can.”
Wendy Shahrikian

“It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to feel guilty or feel like you must please everyone by saying yes. Teach yourself that saying no sometimes means you are saying yes to other priorities in your life.”
Mariah McMullen

“Can I express TIME is big. And learn to make yourself a priority, too or you will never do it or it won’t last long in your scheduling. And move your body every day. Take a half hour and just do it. If you start young you will start a habit for life. Your metabolism just slows down as you age so fire it up now so you will feel better and have energy for life.”
Christy West

“I think I wish I would have known that you don’t need to be in a big hurry to “mature” your life… ie marriage, babies, super successful. I think you should use that time to truly discover yourself, know that you can be independent and self-sufficient. Take chances and travel you can always come home!”
Aunt Annette

“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you’re starting out in your first career with your first apartment/ house and possibly even your first child, there will be times when you are financially uncomfortable. There will be bills you haven’t had before, and life will throw curve balls and all of a sudden you’re sitting at a car dealership buying a car for the first time or you’ll be standing in a Walgreens aisle contemplating whether to cheap out on wipes or diapers that month. Accept it. Create a budget and see it through. If it means you are penny pinching just to save $50 at the end of each month, that’s perfectly fine. It won’t feel “comfortable” but hard work pays off. Don’t be too good to cut coupons, shop only the sales, skip eating out, find a second hand store, or opt to workout at home instead of paying for a gym. These times won’t last forever, but they will determine a lot about your future. Also, if you can communicate and tackle the uncomfortable with your significant other, that means more than flowers and chocolate.”
Alexa Chiefari

“What I would tell my 25 year old self knowing what I know now… this is some sage advice so pay attention. Firstly, live in the moment. Don’t allow the stresses of your everyday life weigh you down. Second, be honest with yourself and those around you even if the truth hurts… the world is full of liars and deceivers don’t be one of them. Third, be happy with being alone. Take yourself to a movie or out to dinner it’s important to get to know yourself before settling down. Lastly and most important, pay your bills… that shit will follow you if you don’t.”
Elizabeth Nickerson

“What I know now that I wish I knew at 25… a few wishes first. Wish I had the patience I have now. Wish I spent more one on one time with each child. Wish I went back to college. Wish I had saved for retirement. Wish Daddy & Mommy had taken more alone time. I could go on and on… and I guess that’s my point! There are so many things I wish I knew then or done differently, BUT all the living I’ve done between 25 and 77 has made me who I am today, and mostly I love the me I have become! Not always, but mostly… If there is one thing though, it would be, pay attention to life! Within your family and within your community! GET INVOLVED AND STAY INVOLVED IN BOTH! This was a difficult question for me but I thought on it for a week, and this to me is the most valuable advice I would give to 25 year old me! Having learned that if we want a better life or world for our children we have to make the changes at home first, then expand getting your whole family involved!”
Granny

“Yes I wish I knew a lot when I was 25 that I know 29 years later. I would have gone back to college and finished. I wish I put others before me. I wish my looks didn’t mean everything. I’d like to have married and waited for the right person. I wish I wasn’t so obsessed with my weight. I wish I knew how to love myself.”
Aunt Patti

“I would say worry less about the house being clean and everything being done– and what I thought was important. Just enjoy the moments. Time does go fast!!”
Molly Noble

“There is a whole world out there that you don’t know about. You can drastically change your life at any moment. Travel, learn, grow.”
Amber Bottensek

“Not to care SO MUCH about what others thought of me. Looking back I really limited myself from being true to the real me because I was so scared of what others would think. It was after becoming a mom that I finally felt comfortable with myself. I’m not sure if it was the hormone change or just constantly being in mom-mode that distracted me from thinking about others thoughts. Whatever it was I’m grateful. I’ve finally realized that you’re not going to be someone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.”
Brittany Schweitzer

“I’d probably tell myself… Relax! There’s still plenty of time! I think most people think that they should have it all figured out by 25 and have their shit together. I feel like 25 was just the start of getting it all “right” ya know?! There isn’t a certain timeline you have to follow. Things will come and happen when they’re supposed to. I’m 31 and I’m just figuring out who I am, what I love, what I’m passionate about… and it’s completely different from when I was 25.”
Jaimie Baker

“Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes, but make sure you learn from them and find the value in the lesson. Truly learn to love and accept yourself for who you are and don’t focus so much on what people think. Lastly, learn to set healthy boundaries.”
Lynette Erickson

“Just start. Time flies, so start today. Start reading or writing the novel, start contributing to the 401k. Start learning to play the piano or cook the perfect lasagna. Just start, because you will blink and realize a lifetime has passed. Oh, and floss, like every day. Do not neglect your gums.”
Jackie Powers

“Quit waiting for someone to give you permission, validation, or an invitation to use your gifts, create your best life and shine.”
Megan Valentine

“I had lost my dad by then… was married… and then the rest of my family moved away. All I can say is spend time with the people you love and care about. SAVE MONEY. Be good to yourself. Just be the best you.”
Mom

“I guess I would have to go with FAMILY!  I say this, because thank god I followed through with it… but knowing this is going out to others… I think it’s the Best Advice I could offer.  I would tell my 25 year old self to take all those things my deep Sicilian Family instilled in me…  Loyalty, Commitment, Unconditional Love, Trust, Forgiveness, Values, Morals…  And instill them into Any… Any Relationship you have because FAMILY… isn’t just about Blood!  “Trust in those that trust in you!”  “Look out for those who look out for you!”  These are statements that were made over and over again on my grandparents back porch years and years ago…  and something I am super grateful I listened to.  No matter who you are…  how much money you do or don’t make… what kind of family you come from…  there will Always at some point in everyone’s life… be a moment when you need someone or a LOT of someone’s!  I Promise, I was convinced for a lot of years I could conquer the world all on my own… and then BAMMMM….  I get hit in the face with something so devastating I’d lay in bed at night wondering what the hell am I going to do….  then… out of no where… all those people, the people I’ve loved, supported, helped, mentored or just spent time with…  they just start showing up…  some I’ve seen on a regular basis, some I haven’t seen or talked to in years… but here they all are… Showing Up!  It’s hard work, super exhausting at times… lots of Great Times and definitely mixed in with some bad…  but through it all…  I’ve always made sure that every person in my life that has stayed is because I Trusted Them and They Trusted Me… and no matter what… I Always had Their Back because I knew they would Always Have Mine!!!  It makes no difference what God they worship (or don’t) who they love or what color their skin is… you bring people into “Your Family” because no matter how off the deep end you may go at times…  they are always there to throw the rope and reel you back in…  because you have or would do the same for them! I would also slap myself upside the head and tell me to quit spending money on everyone else… Save IT!  Cause there is life after your 40’s and if you work hard… you deserve to have some time to enjoy it without the worry of money!  When you’re a kid… you spend money on crazy stuff… cause you’re a kid and it’s the coolest!!! I promise… when you get into your 40’s and beyond… that’s when the “cool stuff” really starts happening!!!”
Terri Agate

“I think the biggest thing I’d say is to remember to take care of yourself. It’s too easy to put work, boyfriends/ husbands, and kids ahead of yourself. But having some time for you is so important. I wish I’d started doing it sooner.”
Ariel Atkins

“I would say at 25 I had a lack of confidence in myself and worried too much about what people thought of me. If I could give myself advice it would be to stand tall and be the strong person you know you are!”
Sherri Rader